I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
