I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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