Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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