im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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