At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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