i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Randomize