so that wasnt chicken after all
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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