Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
