lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Randomize
