Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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