Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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