So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
