Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
