I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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