I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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