So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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