so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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