woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
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