I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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