you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
