She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
