dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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