My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Randomize
