Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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