I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
