Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
