Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
