At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
