I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
