Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Randomize
