so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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