Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
3pm strippers are depressing
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
