Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
