You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
