I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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