At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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