So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize