Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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