Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
