I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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