May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
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Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?