Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
