you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.