You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
