just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Blood and glitter go together right?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises