To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.