The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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