Dude my mom stole all your condoms
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
your address is 607B right?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream