I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
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There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
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of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.