She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Mom said you looked used
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
