i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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