im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
