i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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