you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
