I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
