I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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