woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
