Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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