would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
