I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
