i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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