I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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