matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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