what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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