Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
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Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
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Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
You almost got us killed.
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