Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
